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Parenting is really hard and there are some skills that, if you do not possess them naturally, you need to work hard to develop as you go. May parents just raise their kids the same way that they themselves were raised and this is not something that always yields the best results. In this article, we are going to look at some of the most important skills that all parents need to acquire.
As a parent, one of the most important duties you have to your children is to set a good example for them to follow. It is a lot easier to simply tell your kids not to do or to do something than it is to be a good role model but this is what they need the most. Kids learn best from observation not words so make sure that your actions match your words.
When you’re a parent you’re naturally the first and most important role model your child will have and if you set a really good example, your children have a much better chance of living up to the standards that you set for them. For example, you will find that if you tell your kids not to swear but swear all the time yourself your kids are more likely to use profanity themselves (in spite of your telling them not to).
Every parent feels frustrated, angry or just plain overwhelmed at times. When this happens, it’s time to take a break. You need to put some provisions in place so that you have options for childcare when you need a little breather. This person can be your partner or a family member or a friend or a babysitter whom you trust. Ideally, you should have more than one person on your list, as not everyone will always be available. Even if you’re not at your breaking point yet, it is important to take time for yourself sometimes. Sometimes there isn’t a lot of time to have but even a fifteen minute walk around the block can help you renew your perspective. You’ll make a lot better parent if you take some time for yourself and do not try to be a perfect parent 100% of the time.
Many kids today get into the habit of spending every spare minute in front of the TV, computer or on the phone. For this reason, one of your parenting skills should be the ability to instill the ability to value free play. Beyond the regular organized activities you’ve signed them up for, do not forget how valuable playing at the park or on a playground or having play dates with other kids can be. Research shows that kids who don’t play enough are prone to social problems like aggression, ADD and depression. You can encourage this by having family days on the weekends that involve lots of outdoorsy stuff like swimming and hiking.
The tips here are some of the most important skills you will need if you want to be a good parent to your kids. Every parent has areas that are challenging, and this will vary based on the personality of your child as well as your own. It is important to remember that parenting is a long process and that it changes some every day as your son or daughter grows up and that putting some solid guidelines in places is helpful both to you and your kids.
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Most parents (especially new ones) believe that everything there is to know about raising kids is pretty self explanatory but there are some new skills that every parent needs to learn. Nobody’s perfect; we all have at least one or two weaknesses or things about our parenting styles that have room for improvement. The world is always changing; for example, most of the parents out there today didn’t grow up using the internet but now they have to police it like crazy in case it adversely effects their kids. Let’s take a look at some of the important parenting skills that every parent should have.
Setting the best possible example for your child is the most important thing you can do as a parent. It’s much easier to tell kids to do or not do something than it is to be a good role model, but this is what they really need more than anything else. It is easier for kids to learn through observing others than it is for them to learn simply by being told things so it’s very important that you always match your words and your actions.
As the parent you are absolutely your child’s first role model so if you set a good example, it is far more likely that your kids will live up to the standards you set. Parents who order their children not to do certain things, like using profanity for example, and then are constantly doing that certain thing themselves will find that their children are far more likely to follow their actions than their words. Every parent out there today is concerned about their child’s safety but they also know that they can’t keep their eyes on their kids every second. This is why it is vital that you just give them the basic information they need to ensure that they know what to do and how to reach you or some other adult who can take care of them if they need it. As soon you think your child will be able to retain the information take steps to make sure that she or he knows her or his full name, address and phone number. They should also understand how to contact you both at home and when you are at work. You may want to give your child a cell phone that’s only for emergencies, where they can contact you or dial 911 if necessary. There are lots of cell phone carriers who have created plans just for these purposes. If your child is at a specific location and there is a trusted adult friend or relative who is closer to them than you are (physically of course) be sure your child knows how to reach them.
Some parents think that as soon as the kids are dropped off at school that they become the responsibility of the school. This is true to a certain extent but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still try to be as involved as possible in what goes on at your child’s school. The same rule applies to extra curricular activities in which your child is involved like sports, clubs and camps. When possible, volunteer at your child’s school and attend meetings and parent-teacher conferences. Sure you’re busy and won’t be able to be at everything but you do not want to be the parent who has no knowledge of what goes on in your child’s world when he or she is out of the house. Your child will experience so much outside of the home and, as a good parent, you should be involved or at least have awareness of these experiences.
Some aspects of parenting are natural to us but there are always going to be some areas where we need to work on our skills. Don’t expect to be perfect, but do your best to learn from experience. It is important to remember that it is possible to change; you do not have to follow your parents examples or keep repeating bad behaviors. Being a parent is, among other things, a learning process.
These parenting guidelines can be helpful for you as well as for your child. Yet, should you really want to enjoy the best results it is a good idea to follow a complete parenting program.
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Description:
New York Times bestselling author, internationally known clinical psychologist, and lecturer Wendy Mogel returns with a revelatory new book on parenting teenagers.
Mogel’s sage advice on parenting young children has struck a chord with thousands of readers and made her one of today’s most trusted parenting authorities. Now, in a long-awaited follow-up, Mogel addresses the question she hears most frequently: what to do when those children become teenagers, when their sense of independence and entitlement grows, the pressure to compete and succeed skyrockets, and communication becomes fraught with obstacles?
With her warmth, wit, and signature combination of Jewish teachings and psychological research, Mogel helps parents to ably navigate the often rough journey through the teenage years and guide children to becoming confident, resilient young adults. By viewing the frustrating and worrisome elements of adolescence as “blessings,” Mogel reveals that they are in fact necessary steps in psychological growth and character development to be met with faith, detachment, and a sense of humor rather than over-involvement and anxiety. Mogel gives parents the tools to do so and offers reassuring spiritual and ethical advice on
• why influence is more effective than control.
• teenage narcissism.
• living graciously with rudeness.
• the value of ordinary work.
• why risk is essential preparation for the post–high school years.
• when to step in and when to step back.
• a sanctified approach to sex and substances.
An important and inspiring book that will fortify parents through the teenage years, The Blessing of a B Minus is itself a blessing.
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